My former life on Auto-Pilot
Ten years ago, if someone had told me I was on autopilot, I probably would have insisted they didn’t know what they were saying. Back then, I associated autopilot with a person who was unhappy in life and going through the motions. That wasn’t me. I was happy in my life. Sure, I’d been through more than my share of turbulent relationships. Still, at that time, I was pretty much a newlywed, my career was fun and exciting, and my two beautiful children were doing well, as could be expected as we became a blended family. We had a new home built in an up-and-coming eastside area of the greater Phoenix metropolitan area, and we had just taken a wonderful two-week vacation in Kauai during an eight-week sabbatical. Considering all the life domains, emotional, social, financial, occupational, physical, spiritual, sexual, intellectual, and environmental, my family and I were doing quite well. I didn’t have a single complaint.
It wasn’t until 2015 that I had the first inklings of awareness that I had spent my entire life pushing aside my true inner knowing. It came in the form of questioning whether or not to switch my career path. I didn’t take that as a sign I was on autopilot. Most of us experience reflection. I fluctuated over the choices before me but never declared a new path. I stayed with the status quo and secretly felt I was too old to do what I wanted to do in my career life.
In other words, I stayed right where I was – on autopilot!! 🙁
That is, until life pushed me out of my comfort zone – in the form of a “corporate downsizing”. June 2016 was the last month in my 20+ career as a cubicle dweller. I took about six months off. I hired a life coach to help guide me through my decision points. I decided I liked the idea of coaching others. In one year, I began my intentional journey of shifting into designing a creative coaching practice and haven’t looked back since. I love my life and where it is going. It’s still full of ups and downs and uncertainty, but I enjoy looking at my life with greater consciousness and empowerment. I will never go back on autopilot. It has become like the pink elephant concept; once you hear “pink elephant,” you can’t keep your mind from picturing a pink elephant. Once exposed to the benefits of living intentionally, you won’t want to live any other way.
So, what are some of the tell-tale signs of being on autopilot?
1. Going through the motions – with little awareness (your days are predictable). You take action without stopping to think about what you’re doing, how you’re doing it, and why you’re doing it. Your decisions and actions have become so automatic that they take little to no thought at all.
We must be mindful of every little thing; that’s where our subconscious plays. Our subconscious allows us to practice brushing our teeth while deciding what to wear. My favorite example of going through the motions is when grocery shopping. You’ve decided to get better about your health, including eating better. Yet, you go grocery shopping, and at the checkout, you realize your cart is full of products you know you shouldn’t include in your new plan. It would be the opposite of living intentionally.
2. Making little to no meaningful progress in life (time is flying by). Days, weeks, and months go by without focusing on what’s most important to you.
Keep in mind that some goals are multiyear changes. Tracking your progress, big or small, is essential so you don’t fall back into old habits. Remember, you are unique. Your progress is not to be measured against someone else’s progress but by the plan that you created and committed to accomplishing.
3. Doing too many things you don’t want to do (always on / pleasing others). This person fills their life with what I call “other things.” The person who tends to be busy for the sake of being busy often agrees to things that you don’t honestly want to do, then dreads the decision after, or realizes over time that you’ve not evolved significantly year over year.
There is nothing wrong with serving others; contributing is one of our human needs; however, if you default to yes more often than not, compromising what you want in life, this could indicate autopilot.
4. Wishing you’d taken another path (feel you missing out). It is sometimes called a mid-life crisis, but it can happen anytime when you have concerns that your life could be MORE <fill in the blank> … more joyous, fulfilling, adventurous, purposeful, etc. Deep down, you feel you’ve settled in too many areas of your life and wish you had taken a different path.
If any of these signs ring true, odds are you’re living your life on autopilot. The good news is you can get off autopilot and begin living intentionally. The practice of being more conscious of your daily activities and choices and asking whether they align and advance you toward your greatest heart desires.
The first thing you can do is create a life vision so that you’re clear on what you want your life to look like (including what you don’t want it to). Consider leveraging the nine life domains mentioned in the blog as a starting point. Once you know what you want, you can align your thoughts and actions. Next, practice living in the moment, being conscious of the present while asking yourself, “Does what I am doing now align with my life vision?”. For example, suppose I am playing Candy Crush while watching television every night instead of learning a new skill online that is aligned with my vision. In that case, I’m not living a very intentional life.
What do you think? Is it time to design your life with purpose and intention?
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As always, with Love and Light ~Kami
