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Three Steps to Increase Your Success with Personal Change

Have you ever made a change in your life—your relationship, your career, where you live, or maybe your health—then realized, after accomplishing your goals or achieving a lot of success, that after a while you’re still not happy? Do you begin looking for yet another area in your life to change hoping it will bring you closer to the life you dream of?

There are a few key things to consider when embarking on change.

The first thing is to truly Know Yourself.

I believe that sometimes our decision to change something in our life without truly knowing ourselves can lead us to create change for the sake of change, to get that next boost of energy from achieving the next goal.

This is the person who is tackling a new adventure, changing their career path, involved in a new relationship, or moving across the country six months after they last moved. Some are wildly happy with the constant change, while others are seekers, searching to find something that will make them feel connected, happy, or whole.

A good place to start figuring out what makes you “tick” is by taking a personality assessment. There are many out there so do your research. (In my practice I use the Color Code Assessment for each of my coaching programs).  A personality assessment can help you understand what drives you and what type of personality you have that works best for you.  It is a great way to begin the process of self-discovery and determine what kinds of changes will lead to greater long-term fulfillment and happiness.

The second thing is to Value Yourself.

While creating change or adopting new habits can lead to happiness, it must start from a place of value.  Too often a person’s desire to change comes from an external place. For example:

  • Going on a rigid diet for the sole purpose of getting the attention of someone or for a type of retribution for the wrongdoing inflicted in earlier life a.k.a. look-at-me-now.
  • Taking a job in a field that we don’t particularly enjoy because someone else thinks you’d be great at it.
  • Adopting an activity or hobby because your friends or family are heavily involved in it, but it’s not something you truly like or enjoy.

These types of changes are often rooted in the desire to belong or gain acceptance. It can be triggered by comparing ourselves to others, resulting in negative self-talk (I like to call Stinking Thinking) that diminishes our feelings of self-worth.

Comparisons are dangerous because we ignore our qualities, and abilities, forgetting that we are just as remarkable as everyone else. Please note, that comparisons that make us feel like we are better than others can be equally as harmful in your life.

When we value and accept ourselves before seeking to make a change, the more that change will naturally enhance our existing life, thus increasing the likelihood that change will last and will lead to greater happiness.

The third thing to do before embarking on change is to learn how to … Get out of your own way!

Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously.

Many of us have dreams of accomplishing great things, yet spend an inordinate amount of time perfecting things, avoiding things, complaining/blaming, and forgetful of our commitments to ourselves by what seems to be a never-ending attraction to the next best thing (shiny object syndrome or “squirrel” if you’ve seen Dug the golden retriever in the Pixar movie UP).

It is important that we take the necessary steps to reflect on our progress and behaviors and then ask ourselves … are we revolving or evolving? Revolving is going around in circles with little to no progress. Evolving which is forward-moving growth.

If you conclude that you’ve been revolving vs. evolving – don’t fret it’s never too late to change. It’s simply an indicator that it’s time to get to work on your path towards self-awareness. I feel confident that you will increase your change success rate by applying these three steps.

If you’d like to take your first step in your self-discovery process with me as your coach, I’d be happy to be your guide. Simply schedule a discovery call with me where we will get to know each other, discuss your personal goals, and if you find you like to proceed the second step is completing your COLOR CODE personality assessment.

Here is a sneak peek at how each of the Color Code1 personality types may get in their own way. If any of these sounds like you, you’re not alone and there are simple skills you can learn to halt these tendencies.

  • Detail-oriented Blues may spend too much time perfecting things, delaying their progress.
  • Aggressive Reds may blame others for not being able to progress.
  • Spontaneous Yellows may avoid progress by filing their day with more social activities, friends, and family.
  • Even-tempered Whites may fail to have a sense of urgency (procrastination).

Curious about how The Color Code might help you?  Schedule a discovery call with me, Kami Pollvogt.

1Taylor Hartman, PhD. The People Code: It’s All About Your Innate Motive. (New York: Scribner, 1987).